What a wonderful letter Don

This has been an amazing journey. Deb being very honest you look fantastic, you wouldn't know it from the outside that your feeling bad at all. You always look fantastic, you seem so brave though this whole thing. Even when the doc added two more chemo sessions you handled that with grace. And I know in my heart the removal of your port will go perfectly. I am so very lucky to be your sister and I know I don't tell you enough how important you are to me. When the business sales I want to spend way more time with you. If it weren't for you I wouldnt be the woman I am.
I love you, Wendy

Checking in & Party Info

Hello everyone,

We are nearing the end of the treatment phase of this journey. Last friday Deb received chemo #7. Number 8, in a little over two weeks from today, is the last one. This experience is so difficult to share with words. Real and surreal. Sad with happy moments. What now seems routine remains totally unbelieveable. My beautiful, strong, vulnerable and always courageous Deb is moving thru this with such honesty and grace. The downside of her treatments has hit a bit harder this time. Fatigue, stomach problems, numbness in her fingertips and toes. Yet, here she is, smiling, joking, doing her jewelery and yes, still going to work at the salon a couple of days each week. As I already knew, she is an inspiration to us all and a teacher exstrodinaire. I love her so much and cannot wait for this chapter to be behind us. All of you bring so much positive support to this life experience. Please keep it coming. And to our Higher Power, please deliver Deb healing and good health. So here's some good news! On sunday, March 8th, we are having a party for Deb. It will be at the Decoy in downtown Bend from 5 until 8 PM. For those of you who don't know, the Decoy is at the corner of Bond and Greenwood, across from Deschutes Brewery. Food and wine will be provided and a "no host" full bar is available. This is our "all pau" (all finished in Hawaiian) celebration. Invitations will be going out or you can RSVP thru this blog. Please join us and raise a toast to this amazing woman. We love you all.

Don

DAY 163

I FORGOT TO SAY WHAT A JOURNEY IT HAS BEEN WITH MY DOCTOR. I WENT FROM BEING AFRAID OF HIM TO ACCEPTANCE, TOLERANCE, HUMOR AND LOVE. HE ACTUALLY WEARS THE DOLPHIN TIES I BOUGHT HIM, ON THE DAYS OF MY APPOINTMENTS. HE OFTEN ENDS HIS SENTENCES WITH BUT I DONT HAVE A CRYSTAL BALL SO I THOUGHT I WOULD GET HIM ONE. I ACTUALLY GOT HIM A SNOW GLOBE WITH THE TIN MAN IN IT. I TOLD HIM AT FIRST I DID NOT KNOW IF HE HAD A HEART BUT NOW I KNOW THAT HE DOES AND THIS GLOBE WILL REMIND HIM TO USE IT. HE SAID, WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE THAT IT WILL COME IN REAL HANDY. MY HAIR HAS GROWN BACK ABOUT AN INCH BUT IT ISNT MY REAL HAIR ITS KIND OF FUZZY. MY HUSBAND THINKS I SHOULD SPIKE IT UP AND THAT I WOULD LOOK LIKE A PUNK ROCKER. I DONT THINK ITS LONG ENOUGH YET. HE HAS CONTINUED TO STAY AMAZINGLY POSITIVE, OPEN WHEN HE NEEDS TO TALK AND VERY SUPPORTIVE. I AM SO FORTUNATE TO HAVE SUCH A GREAT FAMILY AND FRIENDS. I JUST READ THIS WHOLE BLOG AND I AM SO GLAD MY SISTER STARTED THIS. WHAT A JOURNEY FOR US ALL. LOVE DEB

ALMOST DONE

THIS HAS BEEN AN INCREDIBLE JOURNEY. I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH. PATIENCE, LOVE OF MYSELF, ACCEPTENCE, COMPASSION, COURAGE, NON JUDGEMENT, ESPECIALLY WITH MY VULNERABILITY. MY EYES HAVE NEVER LEAKED THIS MUCH. MY DOCTOR WANTED ME TO HAVE TWO MORE TREATMENTS SINCE I WAS DOING SO WELL. I WAS PRETTY SURPRISED AT MY DISAPPOINTMENT. I HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WAS HOLDING ON TO THAT LAST DATE. I HAVE ONE MORE, FEB 27TH AND MY PORT COMES OUT FEB 24TH. THIS LAST TREATMENT MY PORT DID NOT WORK, I THINK BECAUSE I HAVE HAD SUCH A TERRIBLE COLD AND I HAVE BEEN COUPHING SO MUCH. IM LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING MY PORT OUT, IT HAS DONE ITS JOB BUT IT HAS BEEN SO TENDER AND THROBBING. I HAVE REALLY LEARNED ABOUT DEPRESSION. SOMETIMES I GO INTO THIS DEEP DARK HOLE AND I AM AFRAID I WONT COME OUT OF IT. THE BEST THING I HAVE LEARNED FROM THE BOOK THE NEW EARTH IS NOT TO JUDGE MYSELF. WHEN I DONT JUDGE MYSELF I COME OUT OF IT SOONER. I FEEL LIKE IM KIND OF RAMBLING BUT IF ANYONE HAS ANY QUESTIONS OR JUST WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT. THANKS, DEB

Note's from Don

Greetings to all,

Well, as you can see, we have been on the road again. Our recent trip to Hawaii was healing, relaxing, adventurous and oh yeah........warm. Deb's much anticipated desire to once again swim with the dolphins was amazing. Spinners, Bottle Nose, and a couple of giant Manta Rays made her dream come true. Those nasty Jelly Fish were were also in the water this time of year so Deb and Mary both got some pretty severe stings. They assured us it was worth it. Our marriage vow renewal on the beach reminded me that after 34 years, I can fall deeper in love and continue to learn from this amazing woman I married. Wendy and Matt's marriage was beautiful and the beginning of a wonderful new life for them both. We love you guys. Much thanks also to John and Mary for dropping everything and making the trip to the Big Island. As always, they offer up a unique, entertaining and truly loving contribution wherever they go. Keep it coming you two. Although this time in our lives has been one of the most challenging, our love for each other has strengthened and grown. We are moving through this experience and continue to be open to the learning it offers. As always, the loving support from family and friends carries us along. Words cannot thank you all enough. The Holidays are here and our Christmas is definately white. Deb's next treatment is the day after Christmas and she has promised to kick my butt in scrabble. We'll see my dear. Bring it! One more treatment to go after this one and we are done. I think a celebration is in the air. Well, that's it for now. We wish you all a fantastic Holiday Season and a stellar New Year!

Love to all,
Don

MERRY CHRISTMAS

THANKYOU WENDY FOR THAT LOVELY LETTER. YOU LEFT OUT SOMETHING VERY IMOIRTANT, THAT YOU AND MATT GOT MARRIED RIGHT AFTER WE DID OUR RENEWALS. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND SO SPECIAL. I FELT SO BLESSED TO BE A PART OF YOU AND MATTS LOVE AND THAT MARY AND JOHN WERE THERE TOO. YES THE DOLPHIN EXPERIENCE WAS INCREDIBLE I WOULD SUGGEST IT TO ANYONE. SHEOLI THE WOMAN WHO TOOK US OUT IS ONE OF THE MOST POSITIVE AND SPITITUAL PEOPLE I HAVE EVER MET. I WOULD LOVE TO DO ONE OF HER SPIRITUAL RETREATS. THIS HAS DEFINATELY BEEN A CHALLENGING TIME IN MY LIFE. IM LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW AT MY BEAUTIFUL NEIGHBORHOOD BLANKETED IN SNOW AND I AM FILLED WITH HOPE AND RENEWAL FOR THE WORLD INCLUDING MYSELF. SOMETIMES IT IS HARD NOT TO QUESTION GODS PURPOSE FOR ME IN THIS SHORT JOURNEY OF LIFE. IVE QUESTIONED WHY ME, I HAVE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH. I CRY AND SIT WITH MY EMOTIONS AND WHAT I COME UP WITH IS WHY NOT ME? EVERY EXPERIENCE I HAVE HAD HAS MADE ME WHO I AM AND I KNOW THIS EXPERIENCE WILL LEAD ME TO MY NEXT LEARNING WHICH I KNOW WILL BE ADVOCATING FOR WOMEN WITH OVARIAN CANCER IN SOME WAY. IM NOT SURE HOW JUST YET. I AM ALSO REMINDED OF ALL MY WONDERFUL MEMORIES AND GREAT FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT LOVE ME AND HAVE TAKEN SUCH GOOD CARE OF ME. LIFE IS DIFFICULT SOMETIMES, AND IT IS ALSO FILLED WITH WITH JOY, LAUGHTER, LOVE, HOPE, PEACE AND SO MUCH MORE. ALL I HAVE IS THIS MOMENT AND IN THIS MOMENT I FEEL GRADITUDE AND I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR CARING AND LOVE. MERRY CHRISTMAS, DEB

Trip to Hawaii Nov 2008

Deb and Don had a planned vacation to go to Kauai for Thanksgiving I believe before Deb's diagnoses. In September during her recovery, still in the hospital she decided that swimming with the dolphins would be a great plan to help in her journey back to health. Well she made it, after her 3rd dose of chemo they left on a two week trip, first to California to see her good friend Bev's daughter get married and visit with Don's family. She had a bad cold but she hung in there and had a good time. Matt and I met them on the Big Island of Hawaii along with Mary and John. We all had a fantastic time swimming with the dolphins which was amazing and I'm sure very healing for all of us. Sheoli our host was able to find the dolphins twice, she is amazing her self. The dolphins love and enjoy swimming and playing with her which she has done for many years. If you ever want a wonderful experience check out her website (awakeninginparadise.com). We had a wonderful private room plus bathroom and the use of her kitchen, family room and beautiful deck over looking the ocean. What a treat for the six of us to be together in such a beautiful place and knowing what this was doing for Deb's health. She was amazing, she out snorkeled all of us I think at least 2 hours one day. The water and sea life was so beautiful for all of us to see and enjoy. Deb and Don renewed their vows after 34 years of marriage with the sun setting over the ocean for the back drop. We were on a bit of sand and volcanic rock which flowed to the ocean, in a state park called the (Place of refuge) which has a wonderful story of history itself. Deb and Don then went to the Island of Kauai and spent another week soaking up the sun, visiting Jim Marten, his family, and Walt and Pam McCoy. She came home more beautiful and with a great tan.
She has been through alot with 2 more doses of chemo to go. I realize it has been a very difficult journey, she gets tired easier, the chemo port really was very painfull for weeks, I cant imagine losing my hair which she has done with grace and at least 4 wigs, and I am so proud of her, she is even more incredible than before this all started.
I love you Deb, your sis Wendy